Reckless Raging Fury

A few minutes ago I was really upset about some things. Most of the time when something upsets me I get emotional and sad. This time it was all of the usual things but I was also getting mad. I don't get mad at God very often, but I was definitely working up a full head of steam and a quality pity party. I've been a Christian all my life and I know all of the theologically correct answers to questions like, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "If God knew this was going to happen, why did he allow it?" and "How come life's just not fair?" But I have to say that knowing all of the answers doesn't make hardship any easier. It's sooooo easy to spout off the Sunday School response, but I'm pretty sure that when people ask those questions (well, me at least...) they're not actually ever going to be satisfied with the answers. It's like a doctor telling a patient in labor "Yup! You're pregnant allright!" and then leaving. Thank you Captian Obvious. It's not that it's a false statement, no one is doubting the truth of what has been said, but it's not what was necessary at the time and the needs of the individual were left unmet.

A few minutes ago my Great Physician understood this concept about me and answered me in a different way. He barely brought to mind an old Rich Mullins song. By barely I mean that the same line kept running through my head and I couldn't remember the rest so I became even MORE frusterated than I already was. In my irritation, I decided this new thing was something I could actually DO something about so I went online to look up the lyrics. When I found the website, there were several song lyrics on the same page. As I scrolled down I was reminded of other songs until I found this one:

There's a wideness in God's mercy I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

There was a link to a scripture next to the song so I clicked on it and it was the secret prescription that my Great Physician wanted me to find.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
Romans 8:18-27

Thank you Jesus for reminding me that you understand my needs more than I ever will. Thank you for meeting me where I am, even if it's right smack dab in the middle of a childish hissy fit. Thank you for your reckless raging fury love that hurts sometimes but makes me worthy and lifts me up.